This morning I was glancing back in my journal writings of the last week. Something suddenly became very obvious to me as I reviewed my journey with God over the past few days.
There has definitely been a theme of God humbling me in my mind about how little I really know and understand. I know it is God’s doing because the realization is not harsh or condemning. It’s just a simple realization, a humble one, of how little I really comprehend. A few days ago I asked God to “rip out of me” anything that is misled and false and leave nothing but what is perfectly His. I asked Him to rip out of me all false assumptions or ideals that I have learned or been taught which are human foolishness. I asked to be cleansed of all the falseness and the misleadings that have certainly come to reside in my mind, heart, and faith—requesting all that to be replaced purely with Him instead.
The day after those requests I wrote down that I felt more and more clueless. I had come face to face with how little I really knew or understood of the fullness of God and His ways and many other things. I realized how simple-minded I really am. I am truly humbled because of that. I certainly grasp how without God infusing me with understanding, knowledge, or wisdom I am completely ignorant. I am feeling and experiencing this so strongly now—it’s humbling, sobering, freeing, and wonderful all at the same time.
Yesterday, the realization hit me powerfully again. I was feeling awful about not having had better words of encouragement or wisdom for a dear friend that is going through some tough times. I also contemplated how little I “know” and “see” spiritually compared to how big it all truly is. The spiritual realm is complicated, and I know that I comprehend so little in comparison.
So God is doing this “ripping out” of me as I have asked Him to. Here I am today being humbled, yet again.
I am a frail human being infused by the powerful Spirit of God, infused by Christ, and living and breathing for Him. If I know anything of real truth, if I understand any real truth, if I “get” anything at all it’s because He makes it possible. Period.