Tuesday, January 20, 2009

God Incidence

Exactly ten days ago my nineteen year old son, Brendan, was involved in a serious car accident. Last night, for the first time since the accident, I truly gave myself a few moments to fully imagine what that accident may have looked like when it was taking place and to reflect on how much more serious things could have turned out. After ten days, I really wanted to weep as I was overcome with thoughts of what could have happened and the gratefulness of having my son still alive and home.

The driving conditions were absolutely terrible that evening when he wanted to go out to celebrate a friend’s birthday. The roads were icy and snowy, people were losing traction with their cars, and some were unable to get up and down hilly roads safely. Even though we admonished him that it was not safe to get out in those conditions, he decided to go anyway. I was so upset imagining that there was a good possibility he may get into an accident that night. Just before leaving, he came to tell me bye and give me a good hug. I wanted to cry then and beg him to please not go, but instead I fought back the tears and probably just asked him to be careful.

As I showered that night just before bed, I recall standing in the shower crying tears and crying out to God for my son. I cried out for God to save him from unwise and destructive choices, from bad influences, and from the power of the Enemy. I went to bed so heavy-hearted and somber; still crying out to God for him.

Sometime after 1:00 a.m. he texted to say he wasn’t coming home and was spending the night at the friend’s place. Then close to 4:30 a.m. he called asking us to come pick him up because he was at the ER.

As I think about that call, I first recall my husband’s (Michael) reaction and how emotionally upset and surprised he seemed that Brendan was calling from the ER. I wasn’t surprised at all. Over the last six months and what had been going on with Brendan’s night life, I had tried to prepare myself for a moment just like that. So that if and when it came, I would be able to function in it without panicking. I remember feeling more angry that it had actually now happened. I know in my anger I told Michael, “I don’t know why you are surprised this has happened; I have been waiting for a moment like this to happen at any time.” And then I went into this auto pilot of getting dressed and ready to go to the hospital. I kept thinking that it was very good that Brendan was actually calling to get us to pick him up. To me that was a great sign that things were not too serious with his injuries. Although, I did imagine him broken some place and with a cast on.

As we both got in the car and headed to the hospital, Brendan began to text us. A series of special heart to heart texts went back and forth between me and him that night as we made the 30 minute drive to the ER. The drive seemed to last forever to all three of us; especially as Brendan kept saying he was in so much pain. I recall my body shaking almost uncontrollably as I tried to text back and forth; my body was freaking out, but Christ was keeping my mind clear.

I’m not sure what all was going through my head as we drove up to the ER doors after 5:00 a.m. I saw him sitting in the wheel chair looking through the glass waiting to see us drive up. I only recall thinking that maybe he needed to be checked out more thoroughly as he kept saying he was in so much pain. But there were no doctors around for me to talk to; just security. I asked him what the doctors had done with him. He said they had done an external physical examination and determined he would be fine and had given him a pain medicine prescription for him to take to Walgreens to fill out himself. Brendan explained that his hip was hurting terribly and he could hardly walk. So we wheeled him out to the car and I called to find the nearest 24 hr Walgreens.

As we drove to fill prescription and drove home, we got bits and pieces of the accident. While I was in Walgreens, Brendan and Michael even saw the wrecker truck driving by with the truck that Brendan had been riding in. We finally arrived home around 6:30 in the morning. I remember tucking Brendan into the guest bed upstairs and giving him a long hug to express what I felt, “I am so glad you are alive and home”. I wanted to say so much but knew I couldn’t speak a word or I would just break down completely.

Brendan had been riding with two other friends in a truck. He had been seated in the middle with the lap belt. As they were crossing an intersection a drunk driver came barreling through at 50-55 mph and hit them on the passenger side full force. That drunk driver was knocked unconscious on impact. The passenger of the truck Brendan was in was thrown completely out of the vehicle, Brendan’s seat belt came undone and he almost ended up thrown out also. Brendan’s friend driving ended up with a cut on his head needing stitches. The young man totally thrown out had to stay in the hospital for a few days. It turns out that Brendan’s pelvis was fractured. The ER doctor missed it since he didn’t even take the time to X-ray Brendan. However, he is healing well and doing better and better every day.

Brendan expressed knowing how God had protected him that night and that he knew he was very fortunate to be alive. I knew all those things too. I knew God had spared my son’s life that night. But not until last night did that all really hit me hard. As I have enjoyed having Brendan home with us for the past ten days and after watching him playing the Wii with his brother last night, I pondered, “What if he wouldn’t have been standing there playing with Braden tonight? What if his earthly life had been over 10 days ago? What if I was grieving the loss of my son?”

But instead I only need to REJOICE that he is still with us!!! Oh how grateful I am for that!!

Why do I write this post? Well, to say this:

I know that God was all over the auto accident that night. I know that God IS sovereign and ALL-powerful, faithful, and trustworthy. And that no matter what had happened I would still have proclaimed that GOD IS GOOD, ALL THE TIME. He will always be most worthy of my love and my praise; whether things are going the way I prefer them to or not.

I love You, Oh YHWH, my Strength.

YHWH is my Rock and my Fortress and my Deliverer

My El, my Rock, in whom I take refuge;

My Shield and the Horn of my salvation,

My Stronghold

I call upon YHWH, Who is worthy to be praised

And I am saved…

(Psalm 18:1-3)

I started this blog for GOD’s GLORY. I write for HIS glory. I long for my life and all that happens in it to be for HIS glory.

So may this also be for His glory…

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