{Added personal thoughts in January 2018: It's been years since I wrote this post and our family went through this judgmental experience. In the years that have come and gone, many things have changed, my beliefs and faith have traveled a great journey, and I still no longer call myself a Christian. Though I do believe in a Divine Spirit of All which gives life to all. The other day I thought of this post, and of what I believed at the time based on what I had been taught, in comparison to my perspective today. I know this: We are immensely and powerfully much more than just a human, physical body living an earthly life. Our very life essence is soulful, energetic, and spiritual. That IS who we really are. We live in a temporary shell of a body but, in our truest nature, we are neither male nor female. May we all be granted the sight to see and appreciate the truth and value of ourselves and each other beyond all earthly labels assigned to us in this short life.}
“…he who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone…”
“The
scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman caught in adultery, and having set
her in the center of the court, they
said to Him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in adultery, in the very act. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such
women; what then do You say?” They were saying this, testing
Him, so that they might have grounds for accusing Him. But Jesus stooped down
and with His finger wrote on the ground. But
when they persisted in asking Him, He straightened up, and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again
He stooped down and wrote on the ground. When
they heard it, they began to go
out one by one, beginning with the older ones, and He was left alone, and the
woman, where she was, in the center of
the court. Straightening up,
Jesus said to her, “Woman, where are they? Did no one
condemn you?” She said, “No one,
Lord.” And Jesus said, “I do not condemn you, either.
Go. From now on sin no more.” (John 8:3-11, NAS)
I will proclaim that I am not a Christian. For the
past five years, I have not placed myself under that man-made
label. Please, don’t call me a Christian.
I am human being on the journey of life just like anyone else. I make mistakes. I am far from perfect. I don’t believe the sins of others are bigger than mine or that I’m holier than them. I am a humbled daughter and servant of God, a disciple and friend of Christ, the Master’s Apprentice, completely forgiven and set free by Christ, a vessel in the Master’s hands, a woman who passionately seeks to know God more intimately and personally, and a person who is ever experiencing and learning the true meaning of how God is boundless and unconditional love and how His love never fails.
I’m not one to usually hold hands with anger. I tend to typically hold hands with sorrow. And yet, as I think, talk, and journal about recent events and express my sorrow to God, I am filled with anger. My anger is not directed at specific individuals, per say. My anger is directed at a mentality and behavior of many who claim to love God and Christ and profess to be Christian. Their “talk” doesn’t match their walk or behavior. Professing to be “little Christs” (which was the original meaning of Christian), they behave nothing like Christ and love nothing like Christ.
Throughout what’s been taking place, I have been reminded about a book that I read five years ago called unChristian:What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity…and Why It Matters by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. Five years ago, I wrote a review on the book and posted it here. unChristian is a book I highly recommend all Christians read. Christians could really benefit from being aware of how they are perceived by non-Christians—who are the majority of the world’s population.
I am human being on the journey of life just like anyone else. I make mistakes. I am far from perfect. I don’t believe the sins of others are bigger than mine or that I’m holier than them. I am a humbled daughter and servant of God, a disciple and friend of Christ, the Master’s Apprentice, completely forgiven and set free by Christ, a vessel in the Master’s hands, a woman who passionately seeks to know God more intimately and personally, and a person who is ever experiencing and learning the true meaning of how God is boundless and unconditional love and how His love never fails.
I’m not one to usually hold hands with anger. I tend to typically hold hands with sorrow. And yet, as I think, talk, and journal about recent events and express my sorrow to God, I am filled with anger. My anger is not directed at specific individuals, per say. My anger is directed at a mentality and behavior of many who claim to love God and Christ and profess to be Christian. Their “talk” doesn’t match their walk or behavior. Professing to be “little Christs” (which was the original meaning of Christian), they behave nothing like Christ and love nothing like Christ.
Throughout what’s been taking place, I have been reminded about a book that I read five years ago called unChristian:What a New Generation Really Thinks About Christianity…and Why It Matters by David Kinnaman and Gabe Lyons. Five years ago, I wrote a review on the book and posted it here. unChristian is a book I highly recommend all Christians read. Christians could really benefit from being aware of how they are perceived by non-Christians—who are the majority of the world’s population.
Why am I saying these things that may offend Christians?
As a woman who loves God
and Christ, I believe I can call out the self-righteous and hypocritical
behavior of those who also claim to love God and Christ. I am not making unfounded judgments. I am making judgments based upon actual
behavior.
Before I continue, I also
want to make it completely clear that I do not believe, nor am I claiming, that
all Christians act self-righteous and hypocritical. While it’s true not all Christians behave
that way, most unfortunately, the attitudes I’m calling out are way too
predominant in Christian churches, organizations, and families.
Recently, our daughter
boldly and publicly professed she is bisexual.
While her dad and I have clearly expressed to her that we do not approve
of her entering into lesbian relationships and that at this time we believe it is a sin, it
does not change whatsoever the immense, unconditional love we have for her or
how we treat her. Our daughter holds the
same exact place in our hearts and in our family that she always has. As far as who she is to us, her place and
participation in our family, and the privileges of being part of our family,
nothing has changed and nothing will.
She is still our very precious, special, beautiful, and unique daughter,
and she is still God’s.
However, as far as
Christian organizations and churches are concerned, she is suddenly being treated
like a leper to be thrown outside the camp.
I want to vomit at the Christian clichés spoken to her, and to us, as
excuses for their hypocritical, self-righteous behavior. Even though she is a daughter of God, she is
no longer acceptable enough to sing and praise God with the youth’s worship
team as she has done for many years. Though,
the church leadership does say she can still attend the youth group, she cannot
sing with the worship team. While
singing with the youth’s worship team, our daughter was not promoting a
bisexual agenda or inviting the students to follow her choices. She was only singing and praising God and
inviting the other youth to join her in that worship. Even though she is a daughter of God, she has
also been banned from being able to go to the beloved horse ranch where God has
been ministering to her soul for many years through her connection and love with
horses. While visiting the horse ranch,
our daughter was not promoting a bisexual agenda or telling others that they
should be doing what she’s doing. She has
gone there simply to love on horses and connect with them and to feel the
utmost joy in riding a horse.
What is her crime worthy
of banishment from the worship team, the horse ranch, and from some friendships? Simply, her public transparency in stating
where she currently finds herself in life and with the choices she is
making.
Here’s what the leaders
in these organizations are so conveniently neglecting to take into
consideration as they hold her at arms’ length or ban her altogether:
“For in the
way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured
to you. Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye,
but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or
how can you say to your
brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and behold, the log is in
your own eye? You hypocrite,
first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take
the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:1-5, NAS)
We are ALL sinners! ALL humans are sinners, including all the humans
who profess to believe in Christ.
Every day, a Christian
commits one type of sin or another. On
any given day, a Christian may commit the sin of lying, being prideful,
wrongfully judging, being arrogant, coveting, being rebellious, gossiping, being
unloving, being quick to anger, lusting, or being hateful to their neighbor, just
to name a few. Countless of those
sinning Christians are today still enjoying the privilege of singing on the
worship team, being part of church leadership, teaching Sunday school, and
attending the horse ranch while not having confessed or repented of their sins. If the Christian churches and organizations
are going to throw outside the camp every Christian who commits a sin, they ALL
need to go outside the camp!
“…he who is
without sin among you, let him be the
first to throw a stone…”
Seems
to me people are throwing stones at our daughter without seriously examining
their own lives. These people throwing
stones are telling our daughter and us that because our daughter came out so
publicly with this sin and she isn’t repentant, they are justified in their
actions to strip her of participation or banish her altogether.
Let
me get this straight:
Christian
churches and organizations are full of people who are sinners in one way or
another, but because they are keeping quiet about their struggles and sins and
pretending they are righteous and sinless, we can continue to keep them in the
camp. Don’t ask, don’t tell, and we’ll
continue business as usual letting the quiet sinner continue to participate in Christian
activities while some of those very people make “I’m holier than you” judgments
about those who do tell and are transparent and kick them to the curb. What a hypocritical, self-righteous bunch of
BS!
“Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them. They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger. But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men. (Matthew 23:1-7, NAS)
"We have sought to build our own righteousness and maintain our own respectability by pretending we keep God's law, by keeping a very little of it where convenient: a little religion, a little ethics, and so on. What we really do is to display the one or two commands we do keep, but carefully hid the dozens we break. We cling to an eleventh commandment--Thou shalt not be found out!" (Norman Grubb)
“Jesus spoke to the crowds and to His disciples, saying: “The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses; therefore all that they tell you, do and observe, but do not do according to their deeds; for they say things and do not do them. They tie up heavy burdens and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as a finger. But they do all their deeds to be noticed by men; for they broaden their phylacteries and lengthen the tassels of their garments. They love the place of honor at banquets and the chief seats in the synagogues, and respectful greetings in the market places, and being called Rabbi by men. (Matthew 23:1-7, NAS)
“Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you
are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside
they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. So you, too,
outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and
lawlessness.”
(Matthew 23:27-28, NAS)
At
the time when someone needs loving, compassionate care the most, they are
treated as lepers and forsaken outside the camp. Loud and clear, they are given the message: “Until you say you’re sorry or get your act
straight, we can’t include you in our camp”.
This
is not how Jesus Christ treated sinners during His earthly ministry. Not at all.
Too many Christians are professing the amazing grace of God now given to
us through Christ while judgmentally behaving more like God during the era of
law and sacrifices narrated in the Old Testament. Christians behaving like this toward our
daughter are far from acting like Christ.
They do not represent Christ whatsoever.
Jesus Christ cared for the sinners, reached out to them lovingly, ate
with them, forgave them, taught them, showed them compassion, and talked with
them. He did not treat them like they
had cooties. Meanwhile, He harshly
called out the Pharisees—those very similar to the self-righteous, religious,
Christian law-keepers of today who are acting like they are holier or better
than our daughter.
Extra! Extra! Pay attention to the following announcement:
We do
not make ourselves holy or righteous.
Our
choices do not make us holy or righteous.
Our
holiness and righteousness rest solely upon God and Christ and what they have
done and continue to do within us. Let
no one be so arrogant to think the wise choices they have made in the past or make
in the future have anything to do with how holy and wise they are or are not. It has nothing to do with our human decisions. Holiness and righteousness are about GOD’s
plans, will, and actions and Christ’s sacrifice. It is about God’s work with us as He is the
potter and we are mere lumps of clay molded in His hands. Too many Christians wrongfully take way too
much credit for their faith and righteousness and think too highly of
themselves.
“For in grace,
through faith, are you saved, and this is not out of you; it is God’s
approach present, not of works, lest anyone should be boasting. For His achievement are we…” (Ephesians 2:8-9, CLNT)
We
are saved in grace, through faith, and it has nothing to do with a person or
what they do or don’t do.
It
is God’s present to us.
We
have absolutely no right to boast about any
thing.
We
are HIS achievement.
“For consider your
calling, brethren, that there were not many wise according to the flesh, not many
mighty, not many noble; 27 but
God has chosen the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, and God
has chosen the weak things of the world to shame the things which are
strong, 28 and the base things of the
world and the despised God has chosen, the things that are not, so that
He may nullify the things that are, 29 so
that no man may boast before God. 30 But
by His doing you are in Christ Jesus, who became to us wisdom from God,
and righteousness and sanctification, and redemption, 31 so
that, just as it is written, “Let him who boasts, boast in the Lord.” (1
Corinthians 1:26-31, NAS)
God
has chosen the foolish
God
has chosen the weak
God
has chosen the despised
So
no person can boast in their wise decisions or accomplishments
By
HIS doing we are in Christ
Christ
is our wisdom, righteousness, sanctification, and redemption
Wherever
we find ourselves in life, we are to boast in the LORD only!
We
are not products of our own selves! WE
ARE GOD’S ACHIEVEMENT!
Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses
surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so
easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before
us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of
faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame,
and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider Him who has
endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow
weary and lose heart.
(Hebrews 2:1-3, NAS)
Christ
Jesus is the author of faith
Christ
Jesus is the perfecter of faith
May
Christians not only lay aside the sins they typically like to call sins, but may
they also lay aside the sins of “my sin is not as big and bad as yours” so “I’m
holier than you”, self-righteousness, and conditional love and acceptance.
May
Christians never, ever forget that their faith or maturity is not a product of
their own doing or the wise choices they have made in their life. Their faith and maturity is an act of
God. Faith is written and matured by
Christ working in us because He is THE author and perfecter of our faith.
Let
those who are wrongfully judged or thrown outside the camp take heart. Jesus Christ endured hostility by sinners
Himself, many of those being religious, self-righteous sinners (the very ones
who called for His crucifixion). During
His earthly ministry Christ was attacked by the religious elite, not by the struggling,
downtrodden sinner. Take heart sinner
and turn to Christ. He knows, He understands,
and He does not want the struggling sinner in this world to grow weary and lose
heart. His hand is reaching out with unconditional love and help.
To
those who judge and hold the stones aimed at the sinner, Jesus Christ calls out
and says: “…he who is
without sin among you, let him be the
first to throw a stone…”.
To anyone
condemned by fellow believers/sinners, Jesus Christ says: “I do
not condemn you, either. Go. From now on sin no more.”
I
am thankful that throughout my 46 years of life on this earth, it has always
been God’s kindness which has led me to any wise choice or repentance. Not once has my repentance come because of the
accusations, condemnations, or judgments of fellow believers or because they
condemned me to be outside the camp when I wasn’t behaving the way they wanted
me to.
Thank
you, God Almighty, for your never ending loving kindness, patience that bears
all, and super-exceeding grace! I am God’s
workmanship and so is our daughter. We
are ALL God’s workmanship. I am praising
God for that and trusting in Him and His handiwork that He will faithfully
carry on to completion!
I
also want to extend a huge, heartfelt thanks to the friends and family,
Christian or not, who have expressed sincere love and care for our daughter and
us (regardless of how they feel about her current choices) and who have not
changed the special place she holds in their hearts and lives. Thank you!
THANK YOU!
I’ll
wrap this up with an excerpt from Luke 7:

39 Now when the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said
to himself, “If this man were a prophet He would know who and what sort of
person this woman is who is touching Him, that she is a sinner.” 40 And Jesus answered him, “Simon,
I have something to say to you.” And he replied, “Say it, Teacher.”
41 “A moneylender had two debtors: one owed five hundred
denarii, and the other fifty. 42 When they were unable to
repay, he graciously forgave them both. So which of them will love him more?” 43 Simon
answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.” And He said to
him, “You have judged correctly.”
44 Turning toward the woman, He said to Simon, “Do you see this
woman? I entered your house; you gave Me no water for My feet, but she has wet
My feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You
gave Me no kiss; but she, since the time I came in, has not ceased to kiss My
feet. 46 You did not anoint My head with oil, but she anointed
My feet with perfume. 47 For this reason I say to you, her
sins, which are many, have been forgiven, for she loved much; but he who is
forgiven little, loves little.”
48 Then He said to her, “Your sins have been forgiven.” 49 Those
who were reclining at the table
with Him began to say to themselves, “Who is this man who even forgives sins?” 50 And He said to
the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
Related posts:
Changed
unChristian Book Review
Daily Truth - God's Grace Superexceeds All Sin
The Problem with Labels
Presenting the Truth in Love
God's Peace Which is Superior
Love Without Limits
The Plague of Gossip
(Maybe I am committing a sin with this post in calling out the hypocritical behavior in Christians. If I am, I can only hope one day God will have completed a such a work in me where I will extend supernatural grace to the spiritual hypocrite, and I won't find myself judging their hypocrisy.)
Changed
unChristian Book Review
Daily Truth - God's Grace Superexceeds All Sin
The Problem with Labels
Presenting the Truth in Love
God's Peace Which is Superior
Love Without Limits
The Plague of Gossip
(Maybe I am committing a sin with this post in calling out the hypocritical behavior in Christians. If I am, I can only hope one day God will have completed a such a work in me where I will extend supernatural grace to the spiritual hypocrite, and I won't find myself judging their hypocrisy.)
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