“For I am reckoning
that the sufferings of the current era do not deserve the glory about to be revealed
for us. For the premonition of the
creation is awaiting the unveiling of the sons of God. For to vanity was the creation subjected, not
voluntarily, but because of Him Who subjects it, in expectation that the
creation itself, also, shall be freed from the slavery of corruption into the
glorious freedom of the children of God.
For we are aware that the entire creation is groaning and travailing
together until now. Yet not only so, but
we ourselves also, who have the firstfruit of the spirit, we ourselves also,
are groaning in ourselves, awaiting the sonship, the deliverance of our
body. For to expectation were we
saved. Now expectation, being observed,
is not expectation, for what anyone is observing, why is he expecting it
also? Now, if we are expecting what we
are not observing, we are awaiting it with endurance. (Romans 8:22-25, CLNT)
Early
this week, as I read Romans 8, the Lord reminded me (again!) that I was in need
of endurance. As I wrote these words in
my journal, “And so, I see clearly I am in
*GREAT* need of endurance!” a familiar chord sounded within me. Didn’t I recall that the Lord had reminded me
of that not so long ago? Or was I
imagining it?...
No, I wasn’t imagining it. The Lord was repeating the truth to me. He had been speaking those same words to me back in October. But back in October, November, and December I was not allowing myself much time to listen and ponder the promptings of the Lord because of the crazy busyness of the craft show season. I had so much to do and prepare to be ready for each show I was committed to participating in. I despise such busyness. Why I do these craft shows will be the subject of another post in the future. It’s not for making money; that’s for sure.
No, I wasn’t imagining it. The Lord was repeating the truth to me. He had been speaking those same words to me back in October. But back in October, November, and December I was not allowing myself much time to listen and ponder the promptings of the Lord because of the crazy busyness of the craft show season. I had so much to do and prepare to be ready for each show I was committed to participating in. I despise such busyness. Why I do these craft shows will be the subject of another post in the future. It’s not for making money; that’s for sure.
This
past weekend, I had an opportunity to revisit my journal from exactly a year
ago. And to my surprise, what did I
find? It sounded just like my writings
of this month. I was writing and
groaning and complaining about the same things I have been frustrated about all
of 2011 and at the start of this 2012 year!
At that moment, it hit me that I had to change something.
I
cannot change others, and I am not in control of the circumstances around me,
but I can do something to change or control my own actions.
Saturday,
I realized that I must make a commitment to force myself to do things which I
enjoy and which remind me that I am ALIVE
and that my presence in this world does matter and make a difference. I spend practically all of my time, each and
every day, doing for my family, my home, and for others. This easily happens in the life of a
homeschooling mom, whom I am. I spend
most of my time taking care of the needs of others or being in charge of necessary
responsibilities. Emotionally and
personally speaking, I have allowed myself to become unhealthy as I have given
every last drop of me for the sake of our home and our family. I have abandoned taking care of who I am and seeking
some of the things which I desperately need.
(Here’s
a perfect example: Even as I type this up, I am abruptly reminded that I must
calculate, file, and pay sales taxes for my craft business. They are due in a week. Yuck!)
What
makes my situation even worse is the resentment I started feeling towards
others for observing them doing the things they find pleasurable and fun. I ask myself, “How can they spend so much
free time doing what they want to do, while I work and work, and work some
more?” I realize how off balance my life
has been. Often I have expressed to the
Lord that I have this great dis-ease in my soul. Certainly, it must be the diseases of “Out of
Control Busyness” and “Too much work and no play”.
I
have felt an utter desperation for serious and immediate change, for more intimate
spiritual relationships with others, and for living life to the fullest. Over the past year, my endurance to persevere
ahead in some of the more trying circumstances has practically been lost.
“And so, I see
clearly I am in *GREAT* need of endurance!”
How
many of us out there are groaning in longing and desperately wanting to be
observing our expectations of what God will be doing in the future?
My
heart longs for things which I know
are not attainable in this earthly life.
The spirit within me looks ahead in anticipation of what is to come.
“For I am reckoning
that the sufferings of the current era do not deserve the glory about to be
revealed for us. For the premonition of
the creation is awaiting the unveiling of the sons of God. For to vanity was the creation subjected, not
voluntarily, but because of Him Who subjects it, in expectation that the
creation itself, also, shall be freed from the slavery of corruption into the
glorious freedom of the children of God.
For we are aware that the entire creation is groaning and travailing
together until now. Yet not only so, but
we ourselves also, who have the firstfruit of the spirit, we ourselves also,
are groaning in ourselves, awaiting the sonship, the deliverance of our
body. For to expectation were we
saved. Now expectation, being observed,
is not expectation, for what anyone is observing, why is he expecting it
also? Now, if we are expecting what we
are not observing, we are awaiting it with endurance. (Romans 8:22-25)
These
verses say we are to wait in expectation of what God will be doing in the
future. The verses tell us that we must
wait in expectation and with endurance. “For to expectation were we saved.”
Just
before the Romans 8:22-25 verses, Paul says to the believers in Christ Jesus:
“For I am reckoning
that the sufferings of the current era do not serve the glory about to be
revealed for us.” (Romans 8:18)
The
sufferings of this current era we live in are not even worthy of the immense glory
which God has in store ahead and for which we wait in expectation with
endurance.
The
word “endurance” literally means “to remain under”. We are called to remain under the ups and downs, the fun times and the working
times, the joys and sufferings, and victories
and trials which are all part of this
earthly life. We are called to remain
under them, waiting in expectation for the great glory ahead which is not being
observed in the present.
As
I examined my life and took inventory of what has been missing and how to get
back to the things I take pleasure in doing, the Lord reminded me of the walks
that we used to take together. Tuesday,
I was inspired into action. I grabbed my
iPod, put on warm clothes and a warm hat, and went out for a walk. I updated my Facebook status to say, “I think
I’ll go for a power walk with my iPod.”
What I really meant was this: “I think I’ll go for an empowerment walk with my Lord and my iPod.” The power I looked for had nothing to do with
how fast or how hard I walked or how many calories I burned. The power I hoped and looked for was from heaven
above. I urgently needed His power to
fill me that I may be able to continue to endure through whatever each day ahead
held in my life.
Through that experience, I realized the most important and primary thing which I have neglected for myself on a regular basis throughout the past year. It is that special time with my Lord Christ Jesus and my Father God. Without being filled by them, I may as well be dead. As I allow any work, busyness, or life’s circumstances to rob me of setting aside special time for the Lord to minister to my soul, I begin to wilt, suffocate, and die. The Lord IS the living water that brings real life, abundant life. This is not the first time I’ve learned this lesson, and I’m convinced it won’t be the last. Earthly life and all that goes with it has a resilient tendency to pull us away from the spiritual realm, which is not as humanly tangible. It is unfortunate, but it is an earthly reality. Every day, the constant pull is there.
I
was repeatedly reminded in the last few months that I was in need of
endurance. My Father God and my Lord
Jesus Christ are my endurance. That is
where endurance is to be found.
“…we may be
glorying also in afflictions, having perceived that affliction is producing
endurance, yet endurance testedness, yet testedness expectation. Now expectation is not mortifying, seeing
that the love of God has been poured out in our hearts through the holy spirit which
is being given to us…” (Romans 5:3-5)
“…the spirit is
also aiding our infirmity, for what we should be praying for, to accord with
what must be, we are not aware, but the spirit itself is pleading for us with
inarticulate groanings. Now He Who is
searching the hearts is aware what is the disposition of the spirit, for in
accord with God is it pleading for the saints.” (Romans 8:26-27)
Daily,
I was crying to the Lord about the abundance of difficult circumstances and
begging Him to change them—to do something
and do it now. The spirit was aiding my
infirmities by praying in accordance with what was best. God’s answer to me was:
“…God shall be
filling your every need in accord with His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:19)
I
am grateful.
When
we are empty, He fills us.
When
we are weary, He strenthens us.
When
we feel like we can’t face another difficulty, He takes us by the hand and says,
“Trust me.”
When
we don’t know what to do, He says, “I do.”
When
we don’t know how we’ll go on, He says, “I’m carrying you on.”
When
we are weak, He empowers us.
By
His super exceeding grace,
Mary
Ann
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